2012

Hey 2012. Rupa-rupanya, semua yang ku lalui adalah supaya kita bersua untuk hari ini. I am where I'm supposed to be. :) And for the sake of an update- I'm happy. Nope, things did NOT turn out exactly how I wanted it to be. However, I had a heck-of-a-ride in 2011.

My professional life, Alhamdulillah, I achieved a lot of things, I started to pursue post-graduate studies, I was provided with many opportunities, called to some English related courses and was asked to conduct some courses at the district level too. For that reason, this year SHOULD make me deliver more English improvements in the school. And because I am in a studying mode, research should be my main game in this business this year. I hope. But I don't know, I still don't see my year 1 kids as lab rats yet. Hehehe...

Now let's move on to my personal life. Akan ku tunaikan janjiku dgn kawan seorg ni,untuk mencoret hal cinta2 ku d blog ini. Haha... Yes, if u read my previous entries, they are all heart broken and lonely soul. I read them all today and had a good laugh about it. My advice to all heart broken readers---> there's a RAINBOW after the RAIN. And it happened to me.

Last year, I met, ahemm...many many many interesting potential 'partners'..and yes, I was bitter (post break up), was angry to men, pessimist and negative to 'love life'..I was basically a train wreck, smiley and friendly outside, yet I come home back to work, empty and lonely. I cried myself to sleep many many nights, I admit...I moved on but I was, angry to myself. Yet Allah, the All-Knowing...has opened up my life to more wonderful things that no other beings are able to enjoy all at the same time- friendship from all different backgrounds, met friends that I can call soul sisters,my work life as a teacher, I was loved, reached out to, appreciated, cared by many, especially kids.... I'm closer to my family, I did not have to provide for them, yet I always feel so needed...I did not have a partner, but I had everything else. Alhamdulillah.

In mysterious ways, as well, I was fated to meet some meaningful people. We don't know what the future holds, if we end up together in life, but I was healed when I met this one guy.. he's no saint, and had gone through a lot... I have high respect for him for changing me. Though much more older than me, he did shed his tears for me... we talked about what we wanted in life, new years resolution, to be exact....although mine n his do not go hand in hand (we want different things), we end up changing each other...and for the better, we stayed friends..and that will never be lost.

I met wrong people as well... I have no idea of their intentions but I'd always treat them with respect.. diorang pun ada perasaan, n kadang2 perasaan tu x bolh dipendam, apa lg ditipu...they are what I call the wrong people for many reasons. One, is a good2 friend of mine since school...we've always had eachother, nice to eachother...I don't think I can ever fall in love to a good friend. Another, is not only from another culture and religion, and he's different and weird that I think he's from another planet!...Another one, is a friend, again, but he's married, and he thinks he can make me happy as his second...I'd never ever try to build a happy life by taking away some of the happiness from another (his wife). I told him, he has a mid-life crisis and he'll go through it. I'm still friends with him and always treat him as such. A couple of others are what we call "hook-ups"...and they all turn out to be wrong people as well....wrong but not bad. They will meet their own destiny.

For now, I am thankful that God is somehow showing me that THERE ARE good men out there. The kind of man that treats a woman right. The one that has high respect for me. That supports me like a friend and a brother. The kind that is 'kind'-hearted, trustworthy, lovely and would put a smile on my face. Can't wipe it. :)